.:: Farishad's Cubicle ::.

der Mensch & das Mensch

2010-05-17T11:48:00.006+07:00

Recently, I've played around in learning German. Don't ask why, it is just my continuous curiosity of foreign language on the surface. When I said on the surface, usually I only played around with the beginning of the language learning process. If it is the 30 days of dummy book, then I've played around only for the presumably 5 days of learning process.

Let's go to the thought. The word men, human or human being in German inherits its masculinity. Thus, I know that Mensch will be 'der Mensch' in German. However, it comes to the fact that I arrived knowing that there is also 'das Mensch' in German but has a different meaning. Literally, it means 'slut'. I got the term from reading Simon Mawer's The Glass Room. The book itself had been shortlisted for Booker Prize 2009. To anyone speak German, the term 'das Mensch' is never been a correct term or noun.

Let's have a thinking that the term exists, it's the reason why I want to write about this small phenomenon. If 'das Mensch' literally means slut, then the condition from being masculine in the word/noun toward the neutral, das, send forth the status of whom being addressed. Lucky that English or Indonesian stand neutral in their noun collections. In German, is it there because they need a stand for everything determined, whether it's masculine, feminine or neutral? Well, almost any other language has its own gender partition. But to consider this phenomenon, a shift from masculine to neutral, thus lowering the meaning of the noun is something a bit outlandish to me. Then, it was a human being, the next thing you are a subhuman by being a slut (if the translation applies for the respective noun - der Mensch, das Mensch).

Thus, to recreate the polemic, those German language need a firm stand to be a man (or in conformity of masculine) by applying a proper indication to its noun. If you are undecided, you are out of their confined structure. It applies that if you are being apolitical or neutral, then you are subhuman, a collection of human in the specific term like a slut in 'das Mensch'. This coin put these subhumans lower than dogs since 'the dog' (der Hund) never become 'das Hund' as those dogs are always stand on what they are supposed to be, the dog. It's only human, a thinking creature that can shift buoyantly according to their belief in time and space.

It's good to be a human.

Well, it's only my blubbering, the term coined itself has not been properly defended. My friends who learn German has never noticed that there is 'das Mensch' for a noun. But this blabbering is quite a phenomenon for as I applied it to my knowledge of German political history throughout 20th century. I will stop now before I become too pretentious.

Allez ist Gut...sehr Gut.

Snowballing

2009-10-30T19:14:00.002+07:00

Hatred is having a snowballing effect nowadays....It depends on us whether to be inside the snow or watch it hitting the wall.

Journal PDJ - 11.10.09

2009-10-11T10:19:00.004+07:00

It's a sunny Sunday, which makes Maroon 5's song its direct opponent, let alone the Gloomy Sunday. New Yorkers are starting to get up from their bed for their brunch, and 72nd street is one of the places to go. Inside one of the cafe, people in their casual sporty attire go in and line up for their order, mostly done with eggs. Some people stay outside to have their sunny day jog in the park nearby, preffering to have their late brunch.

Who lived around the area, the upper west side? Some bums I spotted at the 72st/Columbus Ave station. But more often, some chic ladies are visiting the cafe or as its written in their name, an espresso bar. There are some hip youngsters as well. I could have guessed that those youngsters are the highly paid nanny while those chic ladies are their employers...:) Ochi told me that people in the Upper West Side and Upper East Side really paid well their nanny and manny. So these nannies and mannies are able to continue their degree in the college, post baccalaureate.

Speaking of nannies and mannies, I've just received email from Agus, my historian for the project. I was asking the other day about some mixed indo women who went to the Netherlands to study in the early 20's century. He hasn't found any info about mixed indo women, but he gave the information about indigenous women who went to study in Europe (the Netherlands). In addition to that, he mentioned that these women were not the first to go to the Netherlands to study or work. Before them, many have gone to work as a house servant or attending seminary school. They became the nanny for some European counts and aristocrats. I just wonder, what would they do then, to congregate within each other when they're having a day off like those Indonesian female workers congregate in Causeway Bay, Hong Kong on Sunday.

At first, I'm creating Yanneke's character with the mother who went to Europe to study in the beginning of the century. But, reading Agus' description, it would have given more impact if Yanneke's mother is a descendant of a Indonesian female house servant who married to the locales in Europe. And, for the novel, she could mention her trait to Reksodirdjo. It also stressed out the need of creating conflict by giving the realm of Reksodirdjo as he wanted become westernized, while Yanneke is striving to embrace something east.

Where should I find Captain Black tobaccos?
I want to talk about Hemmingway's The Old Man and The Sea...but maybe I leave it for tomorrow since I'm only halfway reading it. I found his character, Santiago, out of respect that we know the name of the old man from the boy, Manolin, is interesting. So does Reksodirdjo in his adulthood.

Damn...I love the Upper West side...:)

Journal PDJ - 10.10.09

2009-10-10T09:57:00.008+07:00

As I sit on one of the stools at bay watching the heart of upper west side, 72nd st, in Aroma Espresso Bar, I realize this is going to be my last weekend for this New York trip. Originally, it would have only taken two weeks trip but I extended day by day until it is close a month stay (a total of 4 weeks). I've been to this cafe several times, the one on the 72nd street. It consists a free wi-fi and several communal tables. One drawback is that not many walls offer an electrical outlet. But for me, that doesn't defeat the best Chocolatte Croisant that they have and a walking distace to the historic Strawberry Field, across the late John Lennon's apartment. In fact, it has become my ritual, to take a stroll after a stop over in the cafe.

As for the progress of the novel concept, did I tell you that I'm thinking to have Yanneke and Reksodirdjo married to each other. One out of pity, one out of need to survive. But to stress more on the subjects in the novel, the background subjects, I will give more details regarding this. What people love to experience when reading the novel? It should be the feeling of being in Batavia. How was the wind in Weltevreden? How was the tram system that cut through the heart of Batavia? Tanjung Priok? Meester Cornelis? Lastly, the intricacies of the gossips spoken among the household in Nassau Boulevard and Gondangdia.

Here's are the list possible to be put in the novel:

The arrival of Yanneke and her family in Tanjung Priok port. How was the tide and current? Was there any blockade for the health inspection? How stiff was the Dutch East Indies policemen in regard to the immigration? What is the look and the structure of the port?
Inside Hotel des Indes at Weltevreden. How was their ballroom (it will also help the look of the scene in the film) look like? How was the room being organized? Was there any specific suite?
The social club like Harmonie or Concordia, their requirement, their snobbishness.
To walk along the main boulevard in Batavia, how did the wind goes? What did they see when Batavian woke up in the morning and peering southward?
How did you pay for the necessities in Batavia? Your Leisure?
Decca Park, its detail and what was its activities during the Sunday after the mass from the Cathedral?
The seaside: Pasar Ikan or Tanjung Priok?

The list will go on. Perhaps, I will create a writing dedicated to put more lists regarding the social life in Batavia. As I have stated, the novel will not be finished in one year time. But as long as a definition of the character comes alive to support the film (Hotel des Indes), it will be sufficient for the time being.
In addition, there should be a secret rendezvous for Reksodirdjo and Yanneke somewhere near the seaside.

Hmmm, I will miss New York and its individualism....:)

Journal PDJ - 07.10.09

2009-10-07T10:40:00.005+07:00

Nothing much been done to building the grand design of 'Perempuan di Jagamonyet'. A few of scribbling here and there regarding Yanneke's character was tried, and yesterday I was thinking of making Reksodirdjo and Yanneke married to each other at the beginning of Japanese occupation of Java.

The fact that I haven't done much more to the walking of the memory lane when I visited the Bay Area, the region where I spent 11 years there. From my teen to my early 20's. I had a different point of view back then, and the tinkling bell of reminiscing put me in different realm. Yet, the background is almost identical to the experience I've had in the past, only the feeling. I should have elaborated more, but I guess I will write it some other time.

Dennis Lehane's "The Given Day" also gives me a lot of inputs and angles in positioning myself of building "Perempuan di Jagamonyet". In fact, I'm 150+ pages more toward the end of it. If "The Given Day" set in the upheaval after the great war (the first world war), I should set "Perempuan di Jagamonyet" in the turmoil of the time in the Dutch East Indies more. It could be the rise of nationalism, the right to self-govern, either from the mixed European races as well as the indigenous or I have to dig more into the rise of proletar or the farmers, in respect to condition of the country, in the land at that time.

When I planned the film "Hotel des Indes", I was thinking of releasing the book before the release of the film. I guess, the book has a life of its own. I am prone to release the book way after the film. As I said before, the main character could be other than Reksodirdjo, the main character in "Hotel des Indes".

This is my last week in New York, approaching four weeks I stayed in the land of the free, as some people have always said it. On Saturday, I will be attending Pedro Almodovar's session in New York Film Festival. Damn, festival is around but I haven't watched one of the films presented there...:)

Journal PDJ - 28.09.09

2009-09-28T09:37:00.006+07:00

It's sunny today as the bright sunshine poured and reflected resplendently over the grass of Bryant Park. It's also a Yom Kippur Day as many stores in New York area are closed. So does one of the best coffee chain that this city offer, Aroma Espresso Bar. I believe the proprietor is Jewish since I've failed to see that they offer pork and its sib in their menu.

Yanneke, my character for PDJ, is also a Jewish descendant, from her mother side. Since, I'm dwelling to develop this character even more, I have to rethink and redraw totally for the character to be able to be the lead in the novel. Before, her father was a real father, but then, it would not give the Yanneke character a bleak past. Therefore, I intended that Herr Schmidt is her step father, a man that her mother marry after her first husband, Yanneke's real father, gone missing. But, I will stress out that both men are Bolsheviks or Anarchist, someone that can put Yanneke and her mother in the slum of European working class quarter.

So, we have the Bolshevik or Anarchist from the male side and the Jewish side for the female side that create Yanneke's early life. It should be noted as well that Yanneke has lost her real father when she was three. By the time, she was five, she had a new father, this Kurt Schmidt, a Bolshevik musician. I will iterate more in the characterization paper as I develop more for Yanneke's character.

All of a sudden, it's windy all over that I have to put my light jacket on. It's not enough. A bit about Bryant Park, beside those Chess Players, there are some tourists who usually have their refreshment drinks with the baggage beside them. However, there is one old lady, whom on the first day I came here, I thought that she was one of the tourist in waiting since there was her big luggage beside her. Her look and her attire are considered to be normal. Yet, as I come here often, this lady is always here with the same attire and luggage. I presumed that she is one of the park's bum. She just passed by in front of me.

Journal PDJ - 27.09.09 (a Gloomy Sunday)

2009-09-27T09:09:00.004+07:00

Simply, there is no progress regarding writing characterization. Hamid's character is complete, while I have to doodling around for Yanneke's character. Yesterday, with the intention to dig more about Yanneke, I spent my time strolling at the Central Park from the 72nd St. Indeed, it was near the Strawberry Field.

One thing for sure, I have to pull Yanneke's character into the surface, becoming the main lead for the novel. She has to be an Aries, born on April 21st. Lastly, I have to find her real ambition by going to the Dutch East Indies with her mama and her Bolshevik musician step daddy.

Today, nothing from the sun. It has been raining since last night. As I look up from the see-through roof top window, I can see the splatter of the rainfall against the glass. It was a drizzle a minute ago, but gaining more quantity. What a gloomy Sunday.

I'm starved....:)

Journal PDJ - 24.09.09

2009-09-24T10:03:00.005+07:00

Breakfast at the same place with the everyone else whom I don't even know their name but I can see what they wear and use. Ochi texted me a while ago, I replied with a simple message "at the office". By now, she used to having me gone already when she wakes up in the morning. The turf grass is now full but I haven't seen anyone stepping on it, let alone laying themselves down on it.

Back to PDJ, I still haven't finished Hamid's background story. I believe, since Hamid is going to be the narrator in the novel, I have to stress his character a little bit, setting up his goal etc. Despite his goal is not going to be solved at the end of the novel or the film (Hotel des Indes - HDI), I would have to put into a thinking that the main character of the novel is not Reksodirdjo who was a bit passive when I re-read his background story. Simply, Reksodirdjo's character is the character who is unsure with his own being, perhaps a representation of us all in Indonesia.

Indeed, the action evolves around Reksodirdjo but he utilizes those moment like he is a one directional pawn. The reader could have disowned him right away, throwing away the sympathy for him. Therefore, Reksodirdjo in PDJ cannot be the main character. So, who would I choose to lead the story, if Hamid is the narrator of the event? I would go for Yanneke to play role, how will she fit into the story.

However, Reksodirdjo in HDI leads the story because of the background he'd experienced in the novel PDJ. He would not be himself in HDI if the incident has never occured in his life.

It's hot in New York today. I'm not wearing any jacket but still get the perspiration all over. This is what we call an Indian Summer....no, we are in the Fall season now.

As of noon in New York, I just finished a background story for Hamid's characterization.

Journal PDJ - 23.09.09

2009-09-23T09:06:00.004+07:00

It's a cloudy Manhattan morning. In front of me, the workers are already put half of the grass turf back on the middle part of Bryant Park. Yes, it was for the last week NY Fashion Week's tent that they have to sacrifice the turf. Not so much difference route I took from yesterday's morning. The subway was still people's subway no. 5, but the walking route was a bit different. Today, I walked along the William St. and made a turn at the Exchange Place (the street where they installed a big electronic blockade, preventing unwanted vehicle to scram through the NYSE) all the way to the Broadway. Yesterday, it was a right turn at the Broad Street, passing a massive United States flag on the NYSE building before turning left to the famous Wall Street.

Yesterday's writing was mixed with the euphoria of my buddy backhome in Jakarta, Joko Anwar. He promised in his tweets if he ever to get 3000 followers he would go naked in one of the Circle K minimart branch. Several hours after his tweet, his followers were exceeding 12000 followers. So, he had to keep his promise, and he proved to the rest of his followers (15000+ then), an act which most Indonesian politicians seldom or never did. Here's the local media link. It was the Indonesian frenzy that created a hype in the cyberworld, much more than the KPK and President SBY for the G-20 visit in New York. For Joko's action, I saluted him.

Despite the distraction, I was able to finish the characterization of one of the main character, Reksodirdjo Mangoenkoesomo. Today, I'm going to start with the voice of the novel, the character Hamid. But still, I haven't been able to express the grand idea for this novel as my friend asked me over the Yahoo Messenger. It was still a scattered ones. My defense was that I'm going to build each character, and their involvement against the history will speak itself for the grand idea. Still not sure, though.

By the way, someone with full attire of business suit smoking pot not far from my seat, and one guy is bitching about his losing a chess game to his opponent, mentioning about sacrifices. Losing is losing, dude.

Journal PDJ - 22.09.09

2009-09-22T08:51:00.004+07:00

Just like yesterday when I started writing more of the characterization for my intended novel "Perempuan di Jagamonyet", I got up early around 7.44 (indicated by my alarm in iPhone) and without taking a shower, cleaning up myself and heading for the subway to the Grand Central from the Ochi's apartment in Financial District. I used express subway no. 4 or no. 5 from the Wall St. Station, a few paces from S. William St.

The sidewalks were already busy with people heading for their daily activities, a hustle and bustle of New York as I may called it. It's like in any movies depicting New York, this time, I experienced it alive and kicking. The subway itself, I can express it with the people's express. At 8 o'clock, the train to Grand Central is 90% packed with variety of people. They were engrossed with their newspapers, reading the latest news; magazines; iPod/iPhone, listening to their music and of course, a new phenomenon called Amazon Kindle.

In Grand Central Station, about 30% of the people inside exit at this station. The Grand Central at this time of hour, until several hours more, is the jungle of Triboro individuals. The shops are already in their daily activity, serving the suburbanites a coffee or pan to be consumed on the way. It's the vein of the city. Without this, New York would never be the same. I guess, I'm the newbie here, New York will always like this.

I think it's gonna be my daily routine for several days ahead, a latte from Starbucks and Chocolate Pan from Zaro, a vendor in the Grand Central. I deviated from my usual, caffe mocha, after I realized that the calorie intake of the caffe mocha is 110 more than the caramel machiato. I'd always think the other way around. Damn! No wonder, I picked the leftover in my bulging stomach nowadays.

Well, my morning intakes are my company for my hideaway in Bryant Park, a free wi-fi park behind the famous Public New York Library. The biggest green in the park is being tended at the moment because of the activities done in the past week to it. Some says, it was for the New York Fashion Week. I haven't confirmed it on the net, I guess I'm just lazy to browse this information...:)

Since I'm here, I will let myself engross with continuing of the writing of "Perempuan di Jagamonyet", leaving the chatting noise of someone playing a game chess, must be a regular, in front of me.

'til tomorrow.

Bryant Park, New York - 22.09.09

Once There Was a Tower, Now is Goodbye Virgin

2009-06-01T14:40:00.017+07:00

Kalau ada kata-kata Virgin di judul tulisan ini, bukanlah untuk resensi film Virgin 2 nya Nayato. Ini adalah kenyataan yang terjadi di belahan dunia sebelah sana, dengan salah satu Virgin Megastore yang dulu saham penuhnya dipegang oleh sang penciptanya, jutawan Richard Branson.

Pagi tadi saya mendapat SMS dari Ochi, adik saya yang beberapa tahun terakhir ini tinggal di New York City. Isi SMS tersebut memberitakan kalau Virgin Megastore di New York akan tutup pertengahan bulan ini dan mereka melakukan obral besar-besaran sampai 40%. Buat yang suka mengkoleksi DVD, blu-ray, CD atau apapun yang selalu di jual di toko multi entertainment multi ada tersebut adalah sebuah kesempatan. Adik saya dan suaminya beli 6 blu-ray dan beberapa game PS3 cukup dengan mengeluarkan $150. Tapi bagi saya, koleksi kenangan membeli CD dan sebagainya di toko seperti Virgin Megastore seperti tidak terbayarkan.

Dulu kita kenal dengan apa yang namanya Tower Record hampir di seluruh kota di dunia (sayang Jakarta tidak sempat ada). Kalau ada yang bepergian ke kota tertentu, menitipkan untuk membeli CD di Tower Record setempat tidak terlewatkan. Pertengahan 90an, hadir Virgin Megastore yang merebak di pusat jantung kota-kota besar di dunia. Kalau di Los Angeles kita bisa melihat Tower Record di Sunset Blvd, Virgin Megastores di kota itu hadir tepat di tengah kota. Serunya, Virgin Megastores memberikan peluang pembeli untuk mendengar langsung isi dari CD yang mereka akan atau berpikir untuk beli. (Buat orang Indonesia di era pra-Bob Geldof's Complaint sudah biasa dengan mendengar kaset sebelum membeli). Balik lagi, ini sebuah persaingan outlet. Pembeli seperti disuguhi pilihan outlet untuk memenuhi kebutuhan piranti lunak entertainment mereka.

Pada Juni 2006, terakhir kalinya saya belanja di Tower Record di Broadway dekat dengan St. Marks Place, New York. Pada saat itu juga adalah bulan-bulan terakhir eksistensi Tower Record karena pada bulan Oktober 2006, mereka melakukan likuidasi besar-besaran dan tutup secara resmi pada bulan Desember 2006. Di situs ini, http://nymag.com/listings/stores/tower_records03/, kita masih bisa menemukan lokasi toko ini dengan catatan kalau 'the venue is closed'. Kali ini, Virgin Megastores juga akan mengalami nasib yang sama. (Catatan: Tower Records di Picadilly, London, dibeli oleh Virgin Megastores pada tahun 2003 sebelum tutup pada tahun 2007).

Kalau yang berencana ke daerah 42nd Street, New York, dua bulan dari sekarang. Kalian mungkin tidak akan melihat satu toko yang telah, secara perlahan, menjadi icon daerah tersebut dalam 10 tahun terakhir. The Devil Wears Prada, The Sex and The City, dan masih banyak film box-office lainnya, telah menampilkan 'backdrop' dari Virgin Megastores di beberapa scene mereka. Sekarang, bagian dari scene-scene tersebut telah menjadi relic seperti the stadiun New York Yankees, the Old Comiskey Park atau mungkin gedung kembar WTC.

Telah menjadi keasikan tersendiri, ketika kita pergi ke toko-toko tersebut, mengobrak-ngabrik koleksi yang kita cari, ataupun mendengar selentingan musik dari album-album terbaru, belum tentu fenomena ini bisa dirasakan oleh kita dalam 5 tahun mendatang. Ini tidak terlepas dari bergeraknya fasilitas ekonomi baru yang melanda dunia, tidak hanya Amerika Serikat. Mudahnya dan cepatnya akses internet telah membuat gaya hidup kita berbeda. Kalau dulu, yang pernah tinggal di Amerika tahun 80an & 90an, pernah merasakan adanya katalog toko-toko tertentu (J-Crew, Sears, Victoria Secrets, dll) untuk menjawab kemudahan kita untuk berbelanja tanpa harus bepergian, 10 tahun terakhir kita dibuai dengan segala bentuk toko-toko online. 10 tahun yang lalu, buku atau CD kita bisa beli lewat internet. Kali ini album cukup diunduh (download) lewat toko seperti iTunes store atau amazon.com.

Gaya hidup kita semakin didikte dengan buaian-buaian seperti ini. Kapan terakhir kalinya orang yang kamu kenal membeli CD. Semua yang di Jakarta pada umumnya memilih untuk memiliki langsung mp3, lewat situs bajakan di Rusia ataupun lewat iPod kawan dekat. Kindle juga menjadi fenomena baru ketika amazon.com meluncurkan buku-buku teks sekolah dalam format kindle. Semua menjadi paperless. Beberapa koran yang cukup tua di Amerika memberhentikan publikasi mereka ketika mereka memilih untuk menjadi koran online. Tidaklah heran, dengan pergerakan teknologi menjadi 1 dan 0, retail-retail seperti Tower Records, Virgin Megastores, HMV menjadi ngos-ngosan untuk menjaga 'overhead' mereka, lebih-lebih mereka menawarkan produk yang bisa dibilang akan menjadi usang dalam 5 tahun mendatang.

Sedikit lagi semua akan tinggal jadi kenangan. Siapa tau tas-tas kantong kresek plastik dari toko-toko seperti Tower Records, Virgin Megastores suatu saat bisa menjadi sesuatu yang menarik dijual di ebay atau menjadi property film-film yang bercerita tahun 80an & 90an. Sekarang, kesempatan untuk beli barang yang di 'bargain' di Virgin Megastores dengan tidak lupa untuk mengambil beberapa memento seperti kantong kresek, karena tahun 2006 terlewatkan untuk mengkoleksi yang dari Tower Records.

Ketika Ketemu Manula di Jalan

2008-10-24T14:52:00.000+07:00

Pernah ngga waktu kita berada di sebuah ruang publik, kita sering berpapasan dengan seorang manula (bisa perempuan bisa pria) yang tidak kita kenal. Out of politeness (yang katanya kita negara berbudaya sopan dan yang dari kecil dijejelin PMP), kita mencoba melemparkan senyum ke orang manula tersebut. Biasanya, manula itu jalan udah dengan muka ngambek & nge-bete-in. Yang ini bisa terjadi karena betapa susahnya dia berjalan. Nah, setelah tersenyum, maklum 'synapses' manula ini udah tidak 100% berfungsi, pertama dia masih dengan muka bingung kemudian ada yang maksa senyum, ada terus ngedumel ngga beraturan.

Yang gw pengen tau, kebanyakkan setelah papasan ini si manula ini pasti mencoba menengok ke arah kita, yang sudah menjalankan sikap terpuji seperti tertera di PMP dengan tersenyum. Kira-kira, kenapa hampir semua manula berusaha menengok kembali ke arah kita biarpun tadi dia cuma nge-dumel ketika disenyumin.

Kenapa yah kira-kira mereka harus nengok kembali ke arah kita?

Menarik Untuk Dikuping....

2008-10-04T15:44:00.004+07:00

Ini ada sesuatu yang menarik buat menjadi referensi mahluk-mahluk Jakarta...

Semalem setelah ngoprek-ngoprek Jokes di iPhone, ada sohib sepeNgopian nganjurin untuk buka situs yang menarik: http://ngupingjakarta.blogspot.com

Kalau mau ngangguk-ngangguk, merasa banyak juga yang aneh maral melintang di kota 'benci tapi rindu' ini, yach buka aja yg di atas.

We Are Living in the Land of Hopeful.

2008-10-04T15:17:00.003+07:00

When I say the land of hopeful, it could work either ways. Indeed, Indonesia gives a lot of hope, yet the people are still hopeful with it. The latter derives from the mindset that I experience. They are so hopeful that they tend to forget to do thing. Hoping is the opium of the masses.

Here's the example, we hope too much that most of us believe that there will be 'ratu adil' who will salvage this crumbling nation. We hope too much that the opponent will suffer badly so that we can outmaneuver the opponent. We hope too much that everything will come down our ways.

There is a strange phenomenon lately. The most watched Indonesian film is 'Ayat Ayat Cinta'. The film had 3.7million viewers and becoming the Indonesian Box Office of all time. But, the hero, Fakhri, played by Fedi Nuril, is the guy who sways throughout the film. The one who did the thing are the women in the film, the one who falls for the guy. There is no slight action given by Fakhri to propel him forward. He simply just accept the fact that he is in that predicament. What irk me so much is that the film like this kind brought million of viewers. (I refrained from watching it on the screen, but bought the DVD instead). Are we, as Indonesian, that pathetic, relating to something that deals most of the time by waiting, hoping, like Fakhri did. For me to turn around this phenomenon, the hero should be the two women, Maria and the other women I forgot the name. They fought...They did action!

Another element that comes to mind is also the decline of Indonesian sport in the international forum. Are they start to be like the rest, hoping that the opponent falter? Let's say before the big match, they hope the opponent will have a mental breakdown against the numerous supporter of Indonesia on the field, or hope that one of their star injure their knee or ankle. What about after 85 minutes that the opponent are still in their best form, or even 45 minutes they are still far superior than our team? Wouldn't the nervous breakdown will fall on us instead of them? When our team should fight 'til the end, they choose to hope. That's so pathetic. (With the exception of the last performance in Asian Cup for Indonesian Team, they were so brave).

If the things like this persist, what would become of us in the future, competing against the fighting spirit of Malaysia, Vietnam, or even Myanmar. We'll become a dust of hopeful individuals.

I'm not keen for any party at the moment, but I like PAN slogan that 'Hidup itu Perbuatan' (life is an action). I think the mindset for us in the future should be set for the action, an action to do something, not an action of hoping. I have never voted for PAN, I definitely will not for PAN let alone other parties in 2009. I choose not to vote again in 2009. That's my action for this land of hopeful, because I'm tired of hoping.

This is my blabbering after the Ramadhan. 'maapin yee kalau ade salah kate-kate'

Minal Aidin Wal Faidzin....

The Ditchin' on Friday (Jumat)

2008-09-12T14:00:00.011+07:00

Another Jumat, another week is almost over. I sat in the regular cafe where I could enjoy browsing without have to order some foods or refreshments during Ramadhan. Today, I was about to announce to one of my main talents that our shooting schedule is going to be postponed until further notice.

While, I was waiting for her, in front of me were sitting a couple, a mixed ones. The male species was the caucasian. He could be from Europe or Australia, but definitely not an American. The female species was the local ones. But she was not a regular 'ayam' as we may call them here in Jakarta. She could be anyone you see at the 21 cineplex, hanging out with your usual female buddies, or even your girlfriend's girlfriend. In other word, she was far from the typical 'ayam'.

('ayam' literally translated to chicken)

I plugged my earphone, opening my playlist and let it play. But I could not stay away from seeing her eyes. The caucasian male's back was against me, while over his shoulder I could see her sad expression. Once in a while, she threw her gaze toward the window outside. Her moist eyes seemed to tell her previous past and promises she received with this caucasian male. In between, she forced a smile and had herself open her mouth as giving a reply or engross in the male's conversation. My nosiness asked for their conversation throughout. So, I turned off my iTunes, hoping to catch the conversation. No avail. The ambience music of the cafe was too deafening, at least to their conversation I would like to eavesdrop.

I played along with my imagination of where their conversation is going to. Perhaps, it was promises. They dealt with promises being held up. Those broken promises could not keep up with her teary eyes. At least, she didn't create a scene by barging that caucasian dude, slapping him around, cursing in Indonesian with the reply of foul-mouthed English. If I were a referee, I would give a point to this Indonesian girl. This caucasian dude was still blabbering as my playlist was playing 70's song of "emotion" by Samantha Sang. So far, Indonesian 2 - caucasian 1. 2 for not creating a scene and the ability to hold up more tears streaming down her face. 1 was for giving promises but not keeping it. (at least that's what my imagination told me, and that is so male)

Finally, as in every game, everything has a time up. My nosiness was abruptly stopped when she got up, followed by the dude. He gave his hand which she responded with hers. No kiss or embrace. Only a gaze away by the girl as they both shook hand. She didn't even look at him, and in a beat, she walked away, leaving the caucasian dude alone on the playing field.

Damn, if there were a bank of promises, I think the world would fill up so quickly. If I wasn't too nosy with my imagination roam around people's problem, I would not even have a thought about the promise bank....What a Friday to end the entire week.

Iwan Fals & The Bowl of Life

2008-09-04T01:15:00.012+07:00

My friend said that Virgoan is the equilibrium of life. I cannot agree with the statement. For me, as a fellow Virgoan, we are the bowl of life. We stretch, or we have an idealism to stretch by catering what's going to be in the bowl. Thus, that's what make us different and a bit melancholic in certain sense.

My friend objected to my statement, if the Virgoan is the bowl, who holds everything in this world, then who is going to hold us as the bowl. I replied that the earth itself is the Virgoan supporter. Therefore, we tend to be so earthly, and it shapes our idealism on being nosy who's going to be in the bowl according to our own suit. We care on how our bowl is going to look like or to be perceived by others.

You'll meet many Virgoan who are bitchy or opinionated. It was simply originated from their perplexed view on how they discern their own bowl. They are afraid that wrong people or element will contaminate the bowl. Iwan Fals is a pure Virgoan. In his hey-day during the 80's, he delivered a big punch to the establishment from his words and lyrics. Many of them shared his belief as he gathered numerous followers. He is one of the greatest bowl owner.

On the other hand, D.H. Lawrence shaped the world of literature with his view of humanity with their animal instinct against the rigidness of the Victorian age. No matter what, these Virgoans believe in the bowl they are shaping.

When the world that they shape meet most of the resistance, other will see that the bowl they created is an empty bowl with no one buying their bullshit. Well, sometime it was bullshit that they're creating in their bowl. It is those Virgoans who eliminate others who are different in their point of views or beliefs, while keep maintaining to gather more follower to their cause. In the end, these Virgoans if they fail to disseminate their belief, they'll be crushed. Those melancholic and deppressed state of Virgoan are descended from this state. Ivan IV (known as Ivan the Terrible) of Russian Empire had several outbreaks of mental illness. It was the temper that comes from his impulsiveness and often uncontrollable rage. Despite, it was him who enlarged the Russian empire and established the Tsardom.

But as a bowl of life, thinking to make everything in equilibrium perhaps it's inclusive in the nature of shaping the bowl. It could be a part of Virgoan idealism, wanting to see everything in justice or in the right balance.

Well, this is my narcissistic point of view of being a Virgo. You don't have to buy my bullshit, let alone buy a bowl other than to be used for your noodle or soup.

But one thing for sure, Viva Iwan Fals!!!

Stuck in the Hey-Day of Bureaucracy...

2008-09-03T18:27:00.010+07:00

I've never thought I would have to wait for more than one hour at the immigration office. The last time I was there it was in 2003. Everything was 80% manual back then. The bribery was inclusive. I remembered I had to ask someone to pick up the number early in the morning, and by the time the number was up, he would notify me to be present there at once. But not today.

My passport will be expired in several days. Since I don't have to travel, I'm in no rush to get a replacement passport until today. (what is my rush then now?) I'd been told that I have to come by myself, preparing all the paperwork needed. There, they will review the applications, have myself a lineup number to be photographed and wait for several days for the passport to be done. It wasn't like this in 2003. Today, the cost of getting a new or replacement passport is less than US$30. You have to wait for 7 working days.

What about when you're in a rush? One said, if it was in 2003, anything in rush was anything less than 6 hours. Anything over it, it was just a normal time.

What about when you're in a rush now? In 2003, you can say that you' re in a rush, and you have to pay a rushing fee. In other word, it's a 'pelicin' fee. Or, in other word, it's 'a blast for government for paying them a low salary' fee. There was no KPK back then.

Pssssst, who said you cannot have your passport in one day? Now! Yes, despite the vigilant eyes of KPK and all the bullshits the present government had created. Damn!

I came to the immigration office around 11 O'Clock. Everything is different than the last time I was there, 5 years ago. Now, computerized almost in every corner.

There is a touchscreen computer that ask your purpose of being there. There is an LCD screen that updates the passport that are ready to be picked up. Even, the photo session procedure is now being totally computerized.

Back to the totality of being computerized and shit, you don't have to go for a so called 'personal assistant' which was so pervasive in the past. The proper procedure is 7 working days. The photo session will be taken the next day if you are lucky. But, there is a but. There is a discreet bidding around that can get your passport ready within days or even 1 day. I had to go through this bidding. The bidding started at US$85 (I prefer not to quote in rupiah), but ended in US$50 after grueling fight that I will go for the proper 7 days instead of paying that high in the opening. Basically, I won.

The photo session. It took me 3 hours of waiting to be called inside the photo session room. I could say that the computerized photo session is not better than the one they had 5 years ago. In every table, there is a small pocket digital camera (could be a 6MP consumer camera) that linked to the computer. Why is not better? Because, those immigration officers are not photographers. They cannot distinguish the result taken from the camera wide angle or the telephoto. The result: my picture, and the picture of the guy next to me, and the lady across my table are somehow distorted because of their wide angle position placed in front of my face. Many have said that passport photo are never your best picture, but my new passport will have the worst picture of all the passport book I've ever had.

Damn! I have to live with it for the next five years, hoping that in 5 years there will be more improvement especially in the practicality of waiting in the non A/C immigration office.

Hmmmmm....There should be an online form and a confirmation date to take a picture.

I think that is a MUST to curb down the bureaucracy there.

Visit Jakarta...but where is it?

2008-02-13T13:06:00.005+07:00

Early in the morning, my flight arrived from Bangkok. Pretty much exhausted, the flight couldn't be considered to be a 'red eye' flight since the flight took only 3 and a 1/2 hours. Walking toward the immigration checkpoint, I spotted an empty booth of "Ayo Tamasya ke Banten", a pricewar billboard of the local cellular provider and lastly a stack of brochures containing a brochure titled Jakarta City Map.

My first impression was wow! Finally, they come to senses in giving away such hefty information in one brochure. I always told everyone that Jakarta is a big city, bigger than Bangkok, Singapore, Kuala Lumpur. It's so Huge. Then, I realize that this year is a Visit Indonesia Year 2008 with the slogan "celebrating a 100 years of awakening."

I flipped open the brochure as I was waiting for my bag in the conveyor belt. It contains the map of Jakarta with the color description of the busway route. On the insert at the left hand side, there is an information about busway route and its corridor with the match of color to the one on the map. I said to myself, not bad.

Flipping to the other side, there is a brief history of Jakarta and the section of the interesting sites in Jakarta. Wow, at least someone from abroad knows where to go in Jakarta. But to my surprise, the interesting sites section can only give the name of the site and its function before and at present time. Well, I asked myself as I put myself as a first time foreigner in Jakarta. "How can I get to the site?" or "Where is the location of the site?"

Nothing! Usually those kind of informations will have its address (let alone its coordinating location on the map), its open hours and lastly how to get there with the public transportation. Perhaps, we've been for so long without a proper public transportation. Busway is the current breathing space for our public transportation. But why, in the age of properness and dire need to sell the image of the city, this little tiny thing is being left out.

At the same day, I received an email about the posting in the Jakarta Post by Andre Vltchek. His grumbles is what some of us grumbling about our city. He is right, we didn't grumble because we simply have no reference. I guess the planning of the Jakarta as a megapolis is being left stranded right after our prominent governor, Ali Sadikin, stepped down in 1977.

After seeing Bangkok with several parks (despite the locals also complained about its lack of public park) more than what Jakarta has, sidewalk that cater the pedestrian, my sadness toward my city deepens. Added to that is the promotion vacuum of Visit Indonesian Year outside Indonesia. Where is the money spent? Making a TV ad? Well, Gudang Garam corporate TV ad is more memorable if it's to be the TV ad for the Visit Indonesian Year 2008.

The government simply don't prepare enough and learn enough. Visiting Jakarta, but where? Visiting Indonesia, how? The predicaments are so compounded that the slogan for Visit Indonesia Year should be "celebrating 100 years of awakening in dreaming and drooling."

Motocyborg, Are They Still Your Buddies?

2007-10-03T00:53:00.001+07:00

One said that when your friend is putting his/her helmet on, have his/her ass ready on the saddle of the motorcycle then he/she is no longer your friend. He/she already become a different kind of heinous creature called 'motocyborg'.

If anyone live in any big cities in Indonesia, like myself, in Jakarta, I don't have to describe in detail what is motocyborg because they experienced it in their daily activities. Although, they could be the ones who ride or bump a ride with the motorcycle, they simply cannot be applied as one. Because motocyborg only applies to the third party's point of view. Anyone who sees someone else on the motorcycle is actually seeing a motocyborg.

There have never been a special lanes for motorcycle in Jakarta. Lately, as numerous cheap motorcycles coming from the mainland China and the easy credit given by the financial institution, the city has become the haven for the motocyborgs on every lines available on the main street. Once, a lane reserve for one car, several years back, was used up for two cars during the high traffic. But now, the lane was only able to hold for one car as several motocyborgs are there guarding each corner of every car, congesting the lanes even more. It's like watching the secret servicemen guarding the presidential car in every corner.

Now, hear this as a phenomenon. Sidewalks are worst in Jakarta. But, even worse are those motocyborgs who takes over the pedestrian as a sidewalk's occupier. It has become a common sight as well as a common sound or beep whenever those motocyborgs are honking their way for their right in the sidewalk against the pedestrians. In this case, the peds are fighting their losing side as those motocyborgs will not give in no matter what. Lastly, the sidewalk are not for it was meant to be despite the written law for it.

Coming to the written law, but when you are in Jakarta, there seem to be no rules guide the driver in Jakarta. With this flux of motocyborgs, they create, somehow, a new conventional rules. The rules that their rights must be respected. This is one instance of everyday driving experience. When you are about to make a left turn, turning you left sign on, and at the same time one motocyborg coming fast at the farther left lane, you will hear their klaxon reminding us that they want their right to go straight and you, as you are about to go your way, have to yield to their insistence. With this underlying statement in their unwritten conventional rules, day by day, the motocyborgs will rule the street of the big cities in Indonesia.

I have two infuriating real stories regarding motocyborg. First, when I was inside a car of friend of mine and saw how my friend almost killed a motocyborg and losing his friend altogether in the process. On the jammed high traffic in the middle of the day, as my friend, who was driving, about to move from its stillness, one motocyborg rammed his car. Then, in a beat, the motorcycle swerved itself to the ground. Berated, my friend stopped and got out from his car, readying himself to kick and beat the motorcyborg. As the motocyborg got up and opened his helmet, my friend ceased his temper. The motocyborg was none other than his own good friend.

The next one was the incident that took someone's occupation away from him. A chauffeur who was fired because of his employer's expensive car was scratched by motocyborg's extra helmet. I didn't witness this one, but I saw the same incidence from a different motocyborg. Still, with the jammed traffic, those motocyborgs are unstoppable, meaning if they can ride their way through the top of the stuck cars, they would have done it. This one motocyborg has an extra helmet protruding on the side. With the small slit of opening between cars, this motocyborg dared to pass in between at the cost of scratching the helmet on the surface of the black Toyota Alphard. The chauffeur reacted, getting out of the car to check the outcome. Separating the black beauty of the car's paint was the long thin scratched line of the helmet's own paint. And, what was left on the scene was the chauffeur's depressing look and the smog of the runaway motocyborg in the distance.

I remembered one time that I have to rush somewhere. No taxi could get me there quick, then the only choice was 'ojek', a motorcyclist as a means of transport. I put the helmet on and rode through the jammed street of Jakarta. On top of the motorcycle, I've had this gushed feeling to have this motorcycle fly fast to the destination. In every obstacle, there was an urging inside me to shout to the cyclist to pass them on. But, without saying it out loud, the cyclist passed the obstacles successfully as well as riskily. He knew the trick skillfully. Well, come to think of it, I had become one with the cyclist. Me, myself and the motorcycle. I had turned myself into one of the evil motocyborgs and yet, I am still your buddy.

The Consecrated Day Has Not Lost its Moment

2007-10-02T05:00:00.000+07:00

Back in the days, we commemorate two special days, then, venerably. I don't want to mention the first day, pending the historical fact being disputed. But the day after the first day is known has something to do with the Pancasila and the belief in it. Many of us known them as the consecrated day of Pancasila. Although, roughly translated to sacredness ('kesaktian' in Indonesia), this consecrated day of Pancasila supposed to claim the story of the bold takeover by certain groups over another group. Since, the bad guys are always the losing side and cannot reclaim what have been accused by others in return, from October 1st 1965, we've had our own version of bad guy.

I was a product of the order who claimed to be the good guys (the new order). I went to primary school that bore the name of the victim, not the general, but the general's daughter, Ade Irma Suryani, the one who brutally murdered at the age of 5 by the group who chased her dad to the ground. Attended at the same primary school with me were the grandkids of the prime ruler of the nation then, the leader of the so called good guys group, Mr. Suharto. I was also enjoying seeing my father wearing an attire that conveys a unity uniform called "KORPRI" batik every month on 17th. But most of all, I've grown up on seeing "Pengkhianatan G30S PKI" on TV every year.

What October 1st to us? Nothing impeccable whatsoever only that we had to solemnly reflect those who had died guarding the bird (I also grew up knowing that Pancasila, the five pillars of this nation, is a bird) or at least that's what we had been told. In every academic book, mostly for the primary graders, Pancasila with the bird visualizes itself on the cover. What's the bird, ooops, Pancasila got to do with this movement? A lot. As I have now come to comprehend that Pancasila has been 'used' or placed as a gambit in the local political arena, I realized that if the bird, Pancasila, I meant, can talk, it will refuse to be uttered everyday by the product of the winning order.

As it comes to this, reading each pillar, I cannot blame the bird (alrite, let's call it the bird from now on) for losing its grip in defending the truth. The truth itself is not easily being apprehensible. Then, the moment to take its moment to be justified, then consecrating it would be the easy way out. Then, we'd experienced the procession of commemorating the October 1st as the consecrated day of the bird.

But, after the end of the order, literally, in 1998, I have stopped experiencing the festivities and the solemn processions of the new order in creating their manufactured fiction. No more, everything regarding the consecration to all of us is slowly fading away.

Lately, not that I miss the moment of solemn procession of the October 1st, but somehow, this October 1st has lost its touch moment. What's wrong with it? Nothing, it's just not a novel idea anymore of defending or consecrating something with no avail since it was only a make up. Well, any modern man may claim, indeed, that Pancasila have proven its revered status back then. To me, it is still is until now, but not toward what we've been taught (and re-thought) throughout the 32 years regime, but more to its sanctifiedness in handling the manufactured lies for more than 32 years. The bird is consecrated forever in guarding and witnessing the truth as it peels the lies one by one.

Once Upon a Time in Mataram Bioskop

2007-09-24T00:21:00.000+07:00

I remember a year ago, right before the first inception of JAFF (Jogja Asian Film Festival), I told an acquaintance of mine who lives and grows up in Jogja, Fajar Nugross, that if I were going for the indies distibution for my film, Bioskop Mataram would be one of my screening sites. I would have done it, because Fajar had done screening all of his films there. The 650 seats capacity would be plenty if the promotion tools are hitting the jackpot.

Tonight, I returned home, after the twelfth night of 'tarwih', resuming my reading of the DKJ grant proposal. I had put on my iPod and set it for Ennio Morricone's Once Upon a Time in America. Only two proposals left to be reviewed, but the sluggishness comes creeping in. I forced myself to review one and have my laptop session in between for catching up the latest email and scores of English Premiere League (Fuck ASTRO TV!!!).

Just regular a bunch of emails, until my eyes hit the subject "Akhirnya, Layar Bioskop itu Tergulung Jaman" sent through mailing list by Fajar Nugross. At the same time, as I didn't shuffle the album, the playlist hit the song no. 5, called Amapola. As I read through Fajar's writing, this music, from the scorer of Cinema Paradiso, sways sentimentally beautiful in the back of my head. Fajar's eloquent personal writing augments the emotion he is trying to convey through his (or perhaps our) loss.

(please have the time to read Fajar's writing above)

Perhaps, that's the journey of the last warrior in this new wild and cruel frontier, the Mohicans of the non-cineplex movie houses. Last year, the presence of this kind of theater would give a hope to filmmaker like myself, Fajar, and others who are still struggling for the existence. But now, the hope is fading away as the half-hearted film industry run by the fraud moguls are the one who has the last laughter. Despite the condition, the skirmishes to the last battle is still being fought.

Just like 'Noodle' let Patsy walking merrily in front of them, against the background of Brooklyn Bridge, with the hopeful future of their friendship depicted in "Once Upon a Time in America", this kind of movie house has also had many hopes fulfilled and shattered. However, many will only be able to share the memory of experiencing the grandeur, watching the the great film in the grand movie houses of the old days. Its love, romance, comedy, action, tears and joy are wrapped into one. Indeed, many nostalgias are now left in those empty seats that soon will belong to the scrapyard. Bon Voyage...

Ramadhan & Facebooking

2007-09-22T23:31:00.000+07:00

In the past years, during the Ramadhan, I always spent my time reading until the time for 'sahur' around 4AM. I remember last year were Scott Ritter's Iraq Confidential book and Robert Fisk's The Great War for Civilization (unfinished - 1000+ pages bo'). Two years before was Umberto Eco's The Mysterious Flame of Queen Loana and in 1992, back in San Jose, it was Pramoedya's This Earth of Mankind (the English version - in fact, that was the first time I read his writing). I always found that Ramadhan is the best time to concentrate. Therefore, reading is the thing on the list for Ramadhan (no wonder, reading the Quran has more reward if done during the Ramadhan).

This year is quite different. We've been using the virtual community (VC) for quite sometime like friendster, multiply or myspace. But, as the term, it's so friendster applied, those VCs are running out of style. Once again, it's so friendster. Here comes the facebook. Despite, It's been around for a year or so, I have just embraced this phenomenon recently. What hook me and the rest of the people on is this VC has the ability to be interactive with its numerous applications.

Ranging from frivolous quizzez to profound ones, nitpick applications which are good for hitting on to those apps which are good for killing time, facebooking is the way to take me to 'sahur' time. Despite the 47 proposals for DKJ grant that I have to review, in between proposals, I keep coming back to check what's the recent cool stuff in the facebook or sailing my ship to find more booties and coins in the 'pirates' applications. Not only that, I opened my Maithuna treatment in my word application with the facebook on the web in the background. It's not that I second the writing of my film treatment, but somehow, when stuck with objectives, shots, and set-ups, facebooking assists me to alleviate the tension in overthinking that treatment.

'Pirates' is the applications to kill time that I used most of the time. Contrary to the Ramadhan spirit, in this VC, you are allowed to steal someone else's coins or booties with your cunningness. The list of the thrown-bomb is multiplied every hour. Especially during the night, when most of them are in their slumber to be woken up for 'sahur' or simply just sleeping straight to the dawn, it's my best time to bomb-throwing at them. The result is that I add up my level, hit point (that I will be using to attack another ship), and most important thing is the coins stealing.

So much for the facebooking if not for its numerous narcissistic applications such as brainfall, flixter, photos and etc. This VC has hooked me on day by day, which I don't bother to check on the new Scott Ritter's book that has been out or any other books that I haven't finished. Perhaps, this Ramadhan is the time I don't spend much time reading but more to VCing or soon will be a new verb 'facebooking'.

Well, I will go back for DKJ grant proposal review as well as concentrate on the treatment of my Maithuna project. On the other hand, my corsair boat safe in the harbor with 0 coins (for any greedy bomb thrower, you're welcome to attack), it is waiting to sail again tomorrow night. Any poke will treated justly as well.
So long......

One of My Imaginary Competition(s)...

2007-09-21T13:22:00.000+07:00

It's not a turn down, but a slight postponement until Monday. I supposed to meet a friend of mine as a potential investor for my Maithuna project right after the Friday prayer. Then, instead of taking a Friday prayer in vicinity of his office, I went to the one near my house. For sure, it's gonna be a walking underneath the mid-day sun.

During the Ramadhan, it's one of the method of calorie burning since I won't be doing cardio during the day and usually after the iftar (breaking the fast) one has to have a will to go up for a cardio at night. But most of all, the strolling to one's neighborhood mosque is opening up the possibility to bump into your neighbor. In fact, today, still in a bit disappointment from the delayed meeting, I bumped into an old friend of mine. I won't say his name, but let's called him Mr. M.

I've known Mr. M since childhood. As the only son in the family with several female siblings, he is a bit expected in the family. Especially with the good look that he has, back in the 80's many girls had have a crush on him. Then, he boasted that he spent most of his time receiving a call from his admirer. Every Saturday Night, he is the one who went missing for spending time with one of the girls. Mr. M also has a gift of making something artistically. He was a good painter, still is. But, when I say artistically, back then, it should be a complete package. Most of all, it was someone who is good in making a great model miniature kit. We loved to built a model kit. I had my collection ranging from military stuffs to modern commercial vehicles. Mr. M had collection of commercial vehicles (sedan & trucks) that he scrapped and transformed into a stylist car with the protruding wheel and an inside roll bar in it. I built the model as instructed, while he built it more with his imagination. It was his gift. He was so good with his this skill so to me it mutated into a vanity. Eventually, I built up a competition within me against all of his skills and attributes.

His opening line to me today was that he still has my VW Beetle model kit that he rebuilt into a different car despite the look of the Beetle is still there. Wow, even I myself have long forgotten about the model kit let alone the specific model.

After several years, with limited conversation between each other, the strolling to the mosque has opened me with the news of him. I found out in the middle of the conversation that he has the same back problem as mine. And this back problem has refrained him to continue his job as a driver in one of the biggest taxi company in town. What surprises me is not that he has the same back problem like I'm having, a possible dire competition, but the fact that he is working as a taxi driver. Once again, not that I view the occupation negatively, but I have practically grown up with Mr. M, and being a driver was perhaps, then, not his option. He was the slick of the week type of person who refrained from riding a cheap transportation when visiting any girl's.

In retrospect, I took a look at the built up or imaginary competition that I had against him and the trivialities surrounding it. What a pernicious of me to create that situation. I caught up between a self-laugh and cry altogether. He is so harmless. In my strolling, I put myself in the position where Mr. M won't see any competition built up between him and his passenger. He is simply driving the client where to go. It's an irony that back then he was driving himself to any girl's or admirer's house he wanted. He was the one who decided what this model kit would look like after he glued and painted together. Now, he waits for an order to the location which several times he doesn't know where it is.

I dug more into the conversation regarding the back problem. I was sustaining myself in mentioning any chiropractic treatment. It's not that I don't want to help someone with the problem like mine, but the chiropractic treatment is not really a cheap solution. My simple solution, I considered it cheap solution, is to take a pain killer when the pain attacks. This time, he repeats my solution over and over again as to memorize it in his medication workflow. I also remind him to take a rest while he roams around in his taxi. Too much sitting down will make the back problem worse. I ask him to drive to the side and stand up and have a good stretch while resting in between duty. That's the least I can ask him to do.

So much for the stroll as we arrive at the mosque, lastly he informed me that he spent several weeks at Suralaya Islamic Compound. There, I'm a bit curious for anyone who was once a nonchalant for religion but all of a sudden start attending the pesantren (Islamic Compound). Satiating my curiosity, I ask him what is he doing there. A simple answer of learning Islam more in depth is what I got. I value him for that...a once expected man in the family, a juvenile casanova, a gifted artist is now learning something more for his life. As the qomat calls us to stand up and pray, Mr. M added more to my question. His answer is that in Suralaya is also the place to look for the woman. I bet he is still is....:)